We need a minimum of 4 or 5 players

said …………………….Guy Luzon , Bob Peeters , Jose Riga , Chris Powell

I fear young Guy may have arrived in the parallel magical kingdom of Duchatelet It is governed by the new manager’s ritual opening of the 3 magic letters.

Letter 1’s instruction is blame the previous manager

Letter 2’s instruction is change the system-( delete system as appropriate)-  forget playing it on the floor, lob the high ball up to the big bloke —- forget about the big bloke , start playing it on the floor—- forget playing it on the floor , lob the high ball up to the big bloke —- forget about the big bloke , start  playing it on the floor —- forget playing …..

Letter 3’s instruction is to ask for 4 or 5 new players and to write 3 letters for your successor.

Soon After David Martane  ……………….Guy Luzon, Bob Peeters, Jose Riga, Chris Powell  arrived he said  ”We need a minimum of 4 or 5 players” ………………………………………………………………………………and so the magical kingdom continued with its army of baffled and dedicated followers who marched together forever searching beyond the kingdom of Duchatelet for PremierLeagueLand the fabled home of unimaginable and unreachable riches., currently populated by the evil Pardew and the ugly Orcs from MiddleNorwood..

Come in number 5 where are you

I don’t know about you but I’m worried about our lack of centre halves.In the first half of last season our best players were Henderson , Ben Haim ( gone) , Bikey ( eskimo’d) , buyens ( gone) and vetokele ( injured) . Because Bikey and Ben Haim were so good , we decided to let Morrison leave . In the second half of the season , our best players were Cousins , Gomez ( gone)  Watt , Gudmunssen and Henderson. That means we have lost 4 ( 5 if you include Roger Johnson ) good quality experienced premier league / championship centre halves and replaced them with Bauer from the Portuguese league. I hope Bauer is brilliant but to be honest the balance of probability is that having come from Maritimo at his age , he probably isn’t.  I guess we’ve got utility Alou Diarra and he’s definitely a class player but he is really a defensive midfielder. Apart from that we’ve got Abe Obileye who showed promise last year at the daggers but is unlikely to be ready .

Lets hope we’ve got 2 or 3  experienced centre halves on their way otherwise Phil Chappell better be searching for the dubbin.







Ned Sheeran Concert

While the hopelessly addickted and infeasibly optimistic were wandering down welling way , the wife and I were battling through traffic to the ed sheeran concert on Wembley way  ( for some reason the wife thinks he’s Ned) . Anyway , suffering from a passing desire to connect with the youth of today, I had booked tickets even though I don’t really like his music.  I have to confess that I have absolutely no idea why anybody goes to pop concerts . It’s a complete mystery to me .

We went to the concert but I couldn’t be sure if it was actually Ned on stage because I would have needed a telescope of Jodrell Bank proportions to see who the tiny spec of ginger on stage was.  Then it started and the bass and reverberation around Wembley was so loud , I thought my heart rhythm had been permanently disturbed. Ned started singing , least I think he did , but I couldn’t make out any of the words . Luckily by this time , my ears had started to bleed so I had something else to concentrate on.

An hour or so of torture later , he launched into that nice ballad about how he waits to fall in love until hes twenty three purely because it rhymes with seventy . It’s a really nice song , so the couple in front of us got up at that point to go and get a beer while the couple behind us launched into a lovely chat about their pets?

The highlight for me was when the completely shaven and round headed bloke in front of me kept popping maltesers throughout the performance and I turned to my wife and said that guy should have listened to my dear old mum when she said if you keep eating those you’ll ending up looking like one .

I know it’s not good form to laugh at your own jokes but that kept me chuckling for the rest of the agonising night .