Monty Python catering from Delaware

The Valley AD and The Valley BD could be referring to after and before Duchatelet but I’m talking about after and before Delaware.

The catering at Charlton along with the football has deteriorated hugely over the last 10 years with an accelerated decline since they outsourced it to Delaware.

Yesterday there were 2 guys standing next to each other dispensing the “food” in the North Stand Lounge. One guy takes the money and the other bloke standing next to him serves the food.  – So the customer in front of me has two little kids with him and he says I’d like 2 sausage rolls and chips and one sausage in a bun – ok that will be £12.80. He pays and then moves on to the server who is an inch from the bloke who took the money. The server goes to the hot cabinet behind him and gets out a vegetable plait and offers it to the bloke- who says what’s that and he says it’s a vegetable plait to which the bloke ( not unreasonably) points out that he’d ordered 2 sausage rolls.

At this point the server appears to suffer from some kind of brain freeze so much so that you’re not really sure if he’s auditioning for Westworld or someone’s just unplugged him. Nothing seems to happen for an eternity as the server and the bloke who took the money stare at each other in some kind of vacant out of body experience.

Fortunately, and realising that this impasse could go on for a while, I seized the opportunity and jumped in with my order to the bloke who was taking the money. The vegetable plait holder and the man who wanted two sausage rolls were nowhere near solving what seemed to me to be an intractable problem – particularly if you come from a solid meat eating kind of background.

Anyway, sensing that this whole situation could work to my advantage, I questioned the guy who was taking the money “what pies have you got ” – we’ve got vegetable plait ( I was reasonably familiar with that offer by now because of the dilemma currently facing my predecessor in the queue) and Steak and Guinness pie.” Great” – I said, “the steak pie and chips please” – that will be £6.60. I then moved to the critical food dispensing element of the ordeal and I seemed to be in pole position now because one ingredient of the previous but now revised order on account of the distinct non availability of sausage rolls, whether it was chips , rolls or sausages had run out – so not only had he not got what he ordered but when he changed the order to something they had got – they’d run out of that too.

Anyway, no bother, it was my turn now , frozen stiff from the trip to The Valley, a pie and chips would do very nicely thanks. So there I am, head of the queue facing the refugee from Westworld. Steak Pie and Chips I repeated – I saw his eyes dart back to the vegetable plait hot drawer dispenser and both our hearts sank. Neither of us could see anything that resembled the Steak Pie that his neighbour had just sold me.

But luckily, just when it looked like the whole situation was about to turn nasty – his mate – the cashier pointed at the beef stew in front of the server and said there you are, this weeks special is a deconstructed Pie.

Its a Fuc—-g what ……………………….. ????????

I’m truly sorry to the man in front of me with the little kids – I really shouldn’t have reacted like that.

5 thoughts on “Monty Python catering from Delaware

  1. Hi Richard. This outlet is the most inadequate I have seen anywhere in the country and I have been banging on about to Bridget (the Manager in Crossbars) for ages. Why on earth does someone take the money then someone serve. it is completely around the wrong way plus the staffing by Delaware is pathetic no training, too expensive and no common sense. A bit like the 1st team who now cant even seem to have the ability to take a corner kick!. We saw some guy recently ask for a sausage for his daughter but she could have the bun because of heath issue so they took 50p off. £4 for a sausage!…..come on!

    Why on earth does the guy take your money then the “server” ask you what you want.. If I was of a thieving nature I would simply walk up with a couple of mates and order chips and then quietly tell the server you orders pie and chip. 3 people being served at the same time is too much for them to handle. I’s sure some do this already.

    The “customer experience” is in steep decline at Charlton and has been for ages. I had an argument last week when a guy behind the bar had thrown away a pint of larger away which was left behind the bar at half time, in agreement with one of his colleagues, as my friend has to take a telephone call and wasn’t able to drink it.

    I would love to know who signed the deal with Delaware and what contingencies were put in place should their service be so dire and not fit for purpose. Delaware are supposed to be experts (run major events across the USA) but we can all see they are taking the piss at CAFC

    While I am on a rant. We have oceans being filled with Plastic, yet in Crossbars we are served drinks in plastic glasses at half time for some innocuous reason no doubt (probably Local Authority or FA). You can t be served in Crossbars at half time until the ref blows he whistle (this was intruded recently). No reply from the club to my e-mail yet….only been 5 weeks). Not an FA rule for sure.

    We have the worst hand driers in the toilets anywhere. From a hygiene perspective this is just not on as it just encourages people not to bother to wash their hands. Wrong but true especially in winter. I have been barking on about this to the club since last season with Zero response. You sit in Crossbars but to get to your seat before the game you have to leave the stand completely to come in again through the turnstiles. The excuse I have been given is bizarre based on “500 people trying to get through the door 5 minutes before KO poses a H&S risk, As if

    When you visit a Wetherspoon establishment just compare their customer experience to ours. It poles apart IN SERVICE AND COST

  2. Agree its Dire. I stood in a queue for the whole of half time for a beer that I couldn’t take in. (East Stand) it was served by a young lady who had absolutely no idea how to pour a pint (not her fault she should have been trained) what was strange is that there was a supervisor type person in the background who didn’t think it would be useful to help her out. The till guy didn’t know how to operate the till. Basic training I would have thought. the quality of the products and experience is certainly nothing to be proud of – rather embarrassing really.

  3. Classic Post! Hilarious.
    The catering at The Valley is absolutely appalling and has been in this state for sometime now. It is almost every match that we encounter another situation at the counter (West Stand Lower) usually totally incompetent servers who make mistakes with everything from charging too much, too little, wrong items, etc. The choice is pretty limited anyway. Catering at a football match is a basic high volume selling slot requiring staff able to cope with quick distribution of product within a limited period of selling time. There are not that many options to confuse yet week in week out one is met with vacant looks, panic and mistakes. Such a breath of fresh air going to the odd away game (Gills excepted) Brighton was in a different league! Yes – Two now!

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